Week One Day 4 of the SHSC

Current Weight: 266 (-2 lbs)

I have to start by saying this... Thank You to all who have posted strength training suggestions for me. What a great group of friends I have, I'm blessed beyond words. I am working on a work deadline that has to be done before I go to bed tomorrow night so I'm a bit behind in checking things out but once this is completed I will look at everything thoroughly.

I finally took courage and changed my profile pic to what I think is a decent picture of myself taken yesterday while outside playing with the dog. It's amazing how much courage it took, it was easier to show my body (in clothes) then my face. I've said this before, it's like I was afraid someone would recognize me and then I thought, um if someone does then they know I am fat! So that's me Sassle.

Another reason I'm showing myself is because I find it makes me more accountable. It's easier for me to hide and not say anything, not participate and the end result is I'm obese, but since I am showing myself and my stats, my competitive nature won't allow me to fail (well let's hope not).

I read Prior Fat Girl's post yesterday about "how bad do you want it" and it struck a cord inside of me, it's been in my head since, top that off with Annalisa's post about reaching her full potential and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not working this plan hard enough, most certainly not as hard as I am capable of. Once this work project is done, I can finally concentrate on what it is I need to do to live a healthier life. In the meantime I'm still following the SBD, I'm not cheating, it's just that I know I can do more, I can do better. This project has been haunting me for a while now and I've got to get'er done.

Here is my food for the day:

B: Sassle's delicious Quiche
L: Chicken w/tbsp light mayo, slice whole wheat bread
D: Pasta w/Sassle's marinara

Snack: 1 clementine, 1 banana (if bananas are ripe)
Snack2: pudding w/tbsp whipped cream

Exercise:
nothing for today, I won't even pretend, but I will start on Monday (gosh I hate those words)

Plan for the day:
Finish this project!!!


Please Wish me Luck!!!

Week One Day 3 of The Sizzling Hot Summer Challenge

Current Weight: 266 (-2 lbs)

Hubby is off to work for the next 10 hours and I feel this sudden loneliness, I miss him and he just left. I love my husband, he's good, he's kind, he's loving, he's smart he has so many qualities that I can't for the life of me at this moment remember any of his faults. I don't feel like looking for them either.

It's 1:50pm CT at this moment and all I've eaten is breakfast, after this post I will once again have a bowl of my delicious chili, lucky for me, I don't mind eating the same thing over and over again.

I promise myself (please Sassle keep this promise) that I will do Leslie's 1 Mile video today. I am asking all fellow bloggers, do you know of an online site where I could find a good strength training regiment with samples. I only have dumbbells so I'm limited but I really want to do this, I know it'll help me sculpt my body which is what I need. Any suggestions are welcomed.

Here is my food for the day:

B: Sassle's delicious Quiche
L: Sassle's delicious Chili
D: Pasta w/Sassle's marinara

Snack: 1 clementine, 1 banana (if bananas are ripe)
Snack2: pudding w/tbsp whipped cream

Exercise:
1 mile WATP get up and get started

Plan for the day:
Start on work project that must be finished in 3 days, play fetch with dog, take dog for walk, work from 5 to 8, tidy up house, eat right, exercise and have some me time.

Wish me Luck!!!

Games my mind plays...

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. I kept thinking I cheated on the plan. I physically felt as though I cheated, I emotionally felt as though I cheated and I kept having to remind myself that I hadn't cheated. I wonder what triggered the emotion, 2 thoughts came to mind; one being that I haven't been physically active except for playing fetch with the dog and going up and down the stairs numerous times a day, I believe that's playing with my psyche and I'm feeling guilty about it. The second being that I made turkey chili (good gawd it's delicious) and it fills my tummy up and it makes me feel bloated and full (and gaseous). I think since I don't eat like I used to, now I eat and I'm satisfied, never full, just satisfied, chili makes me very full which I associate that feeling with the feelings of a binge. Am I making sense? I've been asking that question a lot lately.

In spite of what I promised myself I went and weighed myself, even though I know I ate chili, even though I know I'm on my period, I just had to weigh myself, it's another one of those things I can't seem to control and the result was a 2 lbs loss. I was stunned to say the least. I got on the scale 3 times just to make sure and yes I'm now at a slim trim 266 lbs. :D

I would like to thank you all for the support I'm getting, not only for the Sizzling Hot Summer Challenge but for everything. You are a great group of people and I totally appreciate you all. I am totally blessed to have such good online friends.

Promises and random thoughts

I don't know if I should be happy or not, I just started TOM and silly me had some of my delicious turkey chili for dinner, so I feel shall we say bloated (to say the least). I guess that explains (or so I hope) why I haven't lost since my weigh-in on the 26th. I am going to do myself a big favor, I will weigh myself only next Wednesday, not a day before or else I will end up playing mind games with myself because if the scale goes up just 1 pound (or more) I will feel all down and out and dislike myself and start having all these negative thoughts. So I will stay away from the scale until the morning of the 8th.

Which brings to mind the Sizzling Hot Summer Challenge, I just counted the number of weeks I will be on the challenge and it's 9 weeks which is fantastic and that means my goal of losing 20 pounds by then is doable! Do you realize how happy I will be to weigh 248 by May 27th, I may even lose more for all I know!

Which brings to mind another promise I'm making to myself, I'm going to start exercising in the morning. Hubby leaves for work tomorrow at 9:30, I will do my Leslie Sansone at 9:35am. Because I haven't been exercising in almost a week and that's bad (another reason I don't see a loss). When I wait to long I don't want to do it anymore, plus I started a new job where I work from home at night from 5:00CT to 8:00CT 5 days a week and if I'm behind I can catch up on weekends. Between preparing dinner, working out, getting my puppy all fed and walked, I just don't want to devote any time to myself. That's what it is, I don't take the exercise as something vital to my health, I think of it as a chore, as something I can avoid, I must change my mindset on that.

I have a non scale victory, the pants I've started wearing are all size 22, I was a 26 and there was only one pair of pants that fit me which I wore to my AA meetings, aside from that I was in sweats. Another non scale victory is when I go to sleep my 2 cats sleep on my side of the bed, they wrap themselves around me and if I should have to get up in the middle of the night, I'm one of those people who lets the cats stay in the bed while I get up, anyway I can easily bring my feet to my chest and slide out of the bed whereas before I had to hold my breath, wriggle around and sometimes I'd accidentally kick one of the kitties :( not anymore though!!

I'm feeling good, time to let the dog out, brush my teeth and get ready for bed, I have a long few days ahead of me but the good news is once this one project is out of my way come Sunday, I'll have so much more head space to think and deal with new stuff, but until then it's a monkey on my shoulder and a heavy one at that.

Thanks everyone for all your support!

Sassle!

Giveaway from the Prior Fat Girl!

Jen Prior Fat Girl is having a delicious Giveaway! Popchips! Check out her blog and enter the giveaway, who knows maybe you will win! I'm torn about the flavors, I love the idea of Garlic and Parmesan and I love Barbecue so it's tough for me!

Sizzling Hot Summer Challenge Here I come!!!!!

Please click on my before pics to get an accurate view, Blogger is making the photos narrower then they really are and I think it's misleading. So please click on the photo and you will have a better and true view of me! I can't believe I said that!

As usual I am not prepared but thanks to Annalisa (love the name) who is also part of the Sizzling Hot Summer Challenge I will check out the site FlyLady this might be part of the answer to my lack of organization problem.

Now for my weigh-in, I'm still 268 which doesn't bother me much because as I've already mentioned I haven't really been paying much attention to exercise and I believe that's the real secret to weight loss, exercise and good eating habits. Hubby and I went shopping yesterday so I could gather all things needed for my menu and we bought some fruits too, I haven't incorporated many fruits in my 2nd phase of the South Beach Diet and anyway....I'm feeling good and I really want to thank Sheila for creating this challenge, it's just what I needed.

My 2 Week Menu Plan!

Week of April 1, 2009

	Sunday
B:	2 eggs, mixed chopped veggies, 1/8 cup of mozzarella cheese, vegetable juice, low-fat fat free ham slice
L:	Turkey patties with side of salad and broccoli
D:	Salmon w/side salad
	Monday
B:	Shredded Wheat Cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk
L:	Chicken breast, salad side
D:	Spaghetti w/homemade marinara Sauce
	Tuesday
B:	2 eggs, mixed chopped veggies, 1/8 cup of mozzarella cheese, vegetable juice, low-fat fat free ham slice
L:	Mediterranean Soup w/side salad
D:	4 oz steak w/salad side and mushrooms, onions and zucchini
	Wednesday
B:	Shredded Wheat Cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk
L:	Tuna salad w/chickpeas and chopped up onions and light ranch dressing.
D:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
	Thursday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
D:	Chicken breast, salad side
	Friday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
D:	Fish fillets w/salad side with mushrooms, onions and zucchini
	Saturday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Spaghetti w/homemade marinara Sauce
D:	Turkey patties with side of salad and broccoli
Daytime Snacks:	String Cheese, 1 serving of peanuts
Last Snack:	fat free/sugar free chocolate pudding with tbsp of sugar free/fat free whipped topping
Fruit:	Clementine 2x or 1 banana

Week of April 8 2009

	Sunday
B:	2 eggs, mixed chopped veggies, 1/8 cup of mozzarella cheese, vegetable juice, low-fat fat free ham slice
L:	Turkey patties with side of salad and broccoli
D:	Salmon w/side salad
	Monday
B:	Shredded Wheat Cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk
L:	Chicken breast, salad side
D:	Spaghetti w/homemade marinara Sauce
	Tuesday
B:	2 eggs, mixed chopped veggies, 1/8 cup of mozzarella cheese, vegetable juice, low-fat fat free ham slice
L:	Mediterranean Soup w/side salad
D:	4 oz steak w/salad side and mushrooms, onions and zucchini
	Wednesday
B:	Shredded Wheat Cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk
L:	Tuna salad w/chickpeas and chopped up onions and light ranch dressing.
D:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
	Thursday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
D:	Chicken breast, salad side
	Friday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Sassle's Turkey Chili
D:	Fish fillets w/salad side with mushrooms, onions and zucchini
	Saturday
B:	Quiche ala Sassle!
L:	Spaghetti w/homemade marinara Sauce
D:	Turkey patties with side of salad and broccoli
Daytime Snacks:	String Cheese, 1 serving of peanuts
Last Snack:	fat free/sugar free chocolate pudding with tbsp of sugar free/fat free whipped topping
Fruit:	Clementine 2x or 1 banana

I think I've completed the criteria for today :) Let me go check at Sheila's blog!

Thinking of my menu!

Ok, so I have to start preparing my menu for the next 2 weeks since I joined the sizzling hot summer challenge which starts April 1 and ends May 27th. I am trying to do whatever it takes to motivate me to continue on this path of weight loss. I weighed myself this morning and I'm still 268, now I haven't cheated but my brain feels as though I have because I feel as though I'm cutting corners on my South Beach plan and that in the long run it can only hurt my results. Now keep in mind I'm suffering from minor PMS symptoms (thank you Optivite PMT) which means my perception of things and myself can be quite off.

After realizing that I am overwhelmed with my need for perfection and my disappointment at not being perfect I am going to give myself a break and do what needs to be done (did that make any sense?).

I am baking today and menu planning, in the future Sunday will be my baking day (please Lord oh please let me stay organized with this). I found this really great site I'm an Organizing Junkie that I'm hoping I'll have a chance to learn something from to help me get organized.

I fought organization for 3 years now, I use to be a very organized person, I needed it to feel good about myself but I realize now that I still need organization in my life and it's hard to get back into it! So hopefully this blog will give me some tips and hints on how to get more organized in my life.

This is what I'm making later tonight after I finish working...

Quiche
Mini Turkey Patties
Mediterranean Grilled Vegetable Soup
Grilled Salmon
Spaghetti with my own homemade marinara sauce.
Zuccini

I'm looking for a few more things to add to this but it's a great beginning.

I'll let you know when I start!

Am I setting myself up?

I think I've mentioned in a prior post that I'm not eating as much salad or veggies as I did when I was on Phase 1, I needed the bulkiness the vegetables provided. I enjoyed making the various simple yet tasty recipes and yet I'm not doing it anymore. Sure my excuse is time, I have very little time these days to myself. My home is a mess, laundry behind schedule, I'm way behind in my business work, I haven't exercised in 3 days (including today), I am taking care of a new puppy single-handedly by myself (doesn't single-handedly mean by myself?).

You see cooking has taken up more time then I thought, hubby got a new job so he's no help or not much anyway and this is not to put him down, he looks forward to coming home at the end of the day and doing nothing, I can't blame him for that.

Doing dishes is a big deal, I have no sink so I have to do them downstairs plus we had no hot water for a few days so my dishes were many and what is that I hear? I'm whining!!!!! I'm giving all the excuses I can find as to why I'm not doing what it is I'm supposed to be doing, which is taking care of myself.

I'm thinking if I take the next 10 days and don't overbook myself, just take this time out for myself I can catch up on everything, but my stepdaughter wants to come visit and that's a big deal because she has 2 children and they take a lot of room and make a big mess, I don't usually mind but now I'm feeling overwhelmed. My stepson who has found himself single after finally breaking off with the devil worshipper has the need to be here all the time too. So what about me? I work from home, I cook, clean, laundry and I forgot what else I do, there is something more I just forgot.

I have to set boundaries!! That's the answer and it's what I need to do for my own peace of mind. Wish me luck, both stepchildren are [young] adults and very sensitive and although I love them with every ounce of my heart, right now I want a break from everyone.

I have to set boundaries (if I keep saying this maybe I'll do it). Then hubby feels guilty because we are turning down the kids, then I feel either sad or resentful because I think "what about me!!!!!!!!"

There are many slogans in AA and the two that come to mind right now are "Living Life on Life's Terms" and "Let Go and Let God".

Time to eat, I'll be back!


Thanks for listening!
Sassle!