Look What I've Accomplished!

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

All's quiet!

I'm exhausted tonight, we had a late dinner and I'm guessing it's just sitting there in my gut waiting for me to go lay down and cause me grief like heartburn or nightmares. Oh well, I'm still up trying to digest my dinner and then I will promptly go to bed because I'm exhausted (did I say that already).

I seriously got inspired today by seeing a blog, her before and after pics were fantastic and it gave me so much hope that all is possible. The weird part is I don't know how I found her, I clicked on someone else's profile and I found her blog, hmm weird or maybe just maybe I was meant to see that blog today to be inspired. Maybe my Higher Power fixed it so that I would see that blog, I don't know what's important is that I did and its inspired me immensely.

I don't have much to say right now, I'm guessing the fact that I'm tired has something to do with it but I have some ideas on the back burner that I'll start writing about tomorrow.

Thanks for dropping by!


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Satisfied Woman Here!

Well all in all I would call today a success on so many levels. I'm getting quite a few visitors to this site reading my blog and that's a very good thing. I've changed for the umpteenth time my layout and title (still not satisfied). Do you know what I'm really looking for? Illustrations like this I absolutely love her work! I love the style of the illustrations and one day I'll get enough money together and have Leelou design my blog for me, that's a promise I'm making to myself.

Food wise I'd say is somewhat of a success. I had cereal for breaky, an ice cream sandwich as a snack, I had a cheese sandwich and frozen dinner for lunch and then spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner. Now why do I call this a success because I never felt the urge to binge, except that time when I had to throw out some leftover mac and cheese w/wieners I so wanted to just gobble it all down but I didn't. I threw everything out (but the 3 pieces of wiener). I consider all this a small but definite success, even though its going over my allotted calories of 1500-1800 per day.

I did lots around the house, it's looking organized and clean. I still have stuff to do but I'm feeling OK with everything right now. It's like even though I went over the amount of food I was allowed for the day, I'm not letting it control my mood, I ate and moved on! Speaking of moving on, I've got to start exercising, at the very least I have to go for a walk every day. I live on a beautiful farm so I have no excuses I can walk all day long if I want. I should start small since I'm so out of shape, perhaps go see the horses on the hour (they'll appreciate it and I get a walk in) or walk around the perimeters of the house every hour, something that will make me move!

So I'll leave it at that for now, thanks for dropping by!


Monday, September 22, 2008

Ok, so I don't take to suggestions too well.

I was going to write about something else; my day, how it went, how I felt, but something just came up so I'll share then I have a question for you.

What's on my mind now is me, the hubby and food. I feel as though he watches everything I eat and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I'm wrong but I'll give you the scenario. Hubby and I eat late, we always have no problem there I guess. Today I took out some sausage patties and some potatoes to eat for dinner. But we had no bread (or shall I say hubby needed cigarettes). So off we went to our local grocer and he saw these sausages links, something called old fashioned sausages. I wasn't really in the mood because I want to be satisfied and these didn't look very satisfying to me, but we ended up buying the sausage links anyway. Hubby announces at the cash that all we'll eat are 3 each, but I don't know what I'll eat yet and I don't like someone else telling me what I can and should eat. So it puts me in a bad mood because if I dare have four I look like a pig. I announce I want 4 (hey I'm a daredevil that way) and hubby looks at me with a look I can't describe cuz I can't read his mind. We go home and are all playful and he says "are you sure you want four?", I said "yes I'm sure." but there's something that is either eating at me about this or him I can't put my finger on it. So I go straight into defensive mode and start telling him how I feel he decides what I should and shouldn't eat and watches me ad nauseum, he replies "I can't do this anymore, you share your feelings with me but I can't say anything. I don't want to know about it anymore then, I can go without the fighting". So I just walked away and said fine to him and that I don't want anything to eat.

Is it just me? Is it PMS? Am I the only one who this happens to? I feel so defensive when it comes to eating in front of him sometimes. I don't like someone telling me what I should or shouldn't eat. He said, we talk about moderation but you want four. So what mister, and it makes me feel like I'm being judged and most importantly by him. I'm probably wrong.

Please tell me if I'm the only one who feels this way, defensive about her eating habits especially with a spouse/boyfriend/mom etc...

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks for dropping by!

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."