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Monday, December 6, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

I've gotten myself in quite the mess, or at least that's my interpretation of the situation. Next month I am throwing my husband a party to celebrate his 50th birthday. I am excited for him, he deserves to be honored and cherished by his family and friends. Now being the self-involved ego minded person that I am is dreading the part where his family comes and visits and sees fat me. Now even if I were to diet successfully for the next 30 days and drop 20 or 25 pounds for that matter (I'm that big) I still would not be his skinny wife (I'll take healthy wife for $500 Alex).

Now I know better, I really do, I'm a firm believer in the Law of the Universe. If I think that I will fail, well darn it I will and if I feel that I will succeed I will. So it's time to change my frame of mind again.

Since stopping the ever successful South Beach Diet which was probably the most successful plan of my life except for the Weight Watchers point system, I have put on all my weight back *hangs head down in shame* but I need to refocus on what's important.

Right now I'm working on my ebay store (I will not share the link here) I am writing an ebook (I might share the link here) and planning a 50th birthday party, creating a video for my husbands party a sort of this is your life theme (I run a business creating photo montages) and fighting temptation to eat easy fatty foods.

I finally have my husband off my back when I choose to buy cake and you know what he doesn't say anything other than snide "jokes" as he calls them. Or he gives me a look, you know the one, he has a smile on his face but a sad smile like you could be so much if only you'd beat this stupid monkey off your back kind of smile. This of course is my projection of his smile, it might just be nothing.

I'm thinking of starting the new Weight Watchers Points Plus program, 3 months will cost me $65 and I'm really tempted to give it a go, but will I do it? Do I want to invest in $165 right now ($100 for food) when I need better winter boots (saw some at $25) and more thermal underwear ($10) hmm... for $200 I could have it all!! haha

Winter expenses on the farm are more expensive, we now have higher bills because someone moved out, oil needs to be bought soon, electric is high and I want to join Weight Watchers. Ok I'll stop whining.

Thanks for listening!

Please come back for more...


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Where I am headed...

“You must not under any pretense allow your mind to dwell on any thought that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.” ~Emmet Fox

Well it's been a really fun ride for the last 4 months since my last post. I'm quite surprised I have any followers left and for those of you who still come to visit to make sure I'm alright, thank you very much.

So far I've managed to keep 15 pounds off from last year. Yes I ate my feelings and a few other people's feelings as well. I'm back and I'm ok. I'm growing in new ways as well, I have found a spirituality that I lacked for so long. I've always had faith in a power greater then myself but not like I have now. But that's for another day, another time because I will share with you the journey.

Hubby and I have decided to go back to the South Beach Diet. It's just the way it should be, at least for us it is. I admit to do comparison reports between the SBD, Flat Belly Diet and Weight Watcher's core. I think SBD is it for me. I just don't like Phase 1 which is the first two weeks, and that is total BS because when I was on it, I didn't want to stop Phase 1, I loved it, felt safe following it, lost weight and felt great. So what's the big deal. Bad habits die hard, but alas I will not let me ego get in the way of what works for me which is the South Beach Diet.

I'll be posting again, I need to find the list of foods that we need and go to the grocers sometime today to pick up the food. Hubby is all gung ho too so it should do both our body and souls good.

Thanks for stopping by!
"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."