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Monday, December 6, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

I've gotten myself in quite the mess, or at least that's my interpretation of the situation. Next month I am throwing my husband a party to celebrate his 50th birthday. I am excited for him, he deserves to be honored and cherished by his family and friends. Now being the self-involved ego minded person that I am is dreading the part where his family comes and visits and sees fat me. Now even if I were to diet successfully for the next 30 days and drop 20 or 25 pounds for that matter (I'm that big) I still would not be his skinny wife (I'll take healthy wife for $500 Alex).

Now I know better, I really do, I'm a firm believer in the Law of the Universe. If I think that I will fail, well darn it I will and if I feel that I will succeed I will. So it's time to change my frame of mind again.

Since stopping the ever successful South Beach Diet which was probably the most successful plan of my life except for the Weight Watchers point system, I have put on all my weight back *hangs head down in shame* but I need to refocus on what's important.

Right now I'm working on my ebay store (I will not share the link here) I am writing an ebook (I might share the link here) and planning a 50th birthday party, creating a video for my husbands party a sort of this is your life theme (I run a business creating photo montages) and fighting temptation to eat easy fatty foods.

I finally have my husband off my back when I choose to buy cake and you know what he doesn't say anything other than snide "jokes" as he calls them. Or he gives me a look, you know the one, he has a smile on his face but a sad smile like you could be so much if only you'd beat this stupid monkey off your back kind of smile. This of course is my projection of his smile, it might just be nothing.

I'm thinking of starting the new Weight Watchers Points Plus program, 3 months will cost me $65 and I'm really tempted to give it a go, but will I do it? Do I want to invest in $165 right now ($100 for food) when I need better winter boots (saw some at $25) and more thermal underwear ($10) hmm... for $200 I could have it all!! haha

Winter expenses on the farm are more expensive, we now have higher bills because someone moved out, oil needs to be bought soon, electric is high and I want to join Weight Watchers. Ok I'll stop whining.

Thanks for listening!

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"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."