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Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Aha Moment

So today I weighed myself, now you must understand I've been on the canned chili diet since Tuesday (or was it Monday must check my online food diary) and each time I eat chili I am full with a capital F. When I'm full I feel bad, I feel like a bad girl, surely I must have done something wrong because my tummy feels full and that's not a regular state to be in when you are losing weight right? Wrong I think.

This is where I'm going with this, a few weeks ago I was at 249 and thrilled to pieces over it because I was in the 240's which hasn't happened since I gained weight 3+ years ago. Suddenly I got a stomach flu and didn't eat for one day, the next day I had dropped 4 pounds, wow that's cool but I was sick and figured that the moment I ate an apple the 4 pounds would come back. The next day I had an event and I still wasn't feeling well but I had a headache so I ate some food at this convention, none of the food was healthy but I ate in moderation. The Sunday I weighed myself fully expecting a gain and nope still 245 lbs I thought ok it's just a matter of time before my body goes back up.

The weight gain didn't go back up (not for a few weeks) my body had felt comfortable at 245 and even went down to 244, then I had the cheese and cracker attack and I went up to 248, so (stay with me here) today after my chili binge of the last few days I was expecting a gain, but no, I went down to 244 from 245 so I'm back to where I was Saturday morning before the cheese/cracker binge.

So I'm thinking WTF? how can I eat portions of chili and still lose weight? I'll now tell you what I think : ) I think when I hit 244 I was eating under 1000 calories a day trying to jar a bigger weight loss and I was working out too, but my body thought WTF is she doing? Is she starving us? So it held onto everything and the scale wouldn't budge. So when I had my cheese/cracker binge I remember thinking well this will shock my body and maybe it'll release some of those pounds eh wrong buffalo breath I gained weight, however, this week I've been eating between 1200 to 1500 calories and I lost everything I gained.

So what's the moral of the story? I'm not sure, I find being accountable for my food on my online diary has helped me immensely. I'm learning not to be so hard on myself but I confess I must constantly remind myself to be gentle and that being full is not a sin and being full does not equal weight gain but by writing down every morsel that goes into my body I can logically see how many calories I have eaten so therefore I won't gain 5 pounds overnight because I only had 1300 calories the day before. If I didn't write things down I'd cause myself stress, guilt and worry so this way works for me for now.

I apologize for being all over the place with this post, it seemed clear in my head, I had an AHA moment and it's too hard to really put into words.

I love the way I feel lately where my diet/eating plan/way of life is concerned because I feel like I'm growing up and I have a better chance at keeping the weight off this time because I'm learning who I am and what my triggers are. Continued emotional growth will take me far.

Thanks for coming by my friends!

Sassle

4 comments:

Kelly said...

You just can live on less than 100 calories well. Your body is beautiful and will do what it needs to survive. It'll store up fat and burn muscle and who wants that?!
Especially if you are working out, you need fuel.

You don't put 1/4 tank of gas in your car and expect to go on a road trip. Your body needs fuel for the exercises and normal functions.

This site helps you figure out your BMR: http://kimbensen.com/tips/bmr-calculator
There are other helpful tools there too.

A BIG congrats on the loss!! Woohoo!

Mama Bear June said...

Congrats on the loss, that is awesome! Yeah, if we don't get enough calories, our metabolism slows down for protection against starvation. I'm thinking the gain you had was water weight from the high sodium foods.

You are rockin' it!
Path to Health

Annalisa201 said...

Thanks for being our friends too. You're doing awesome. Keep up the good work, feeding your body well, because it works hard for us, ya know? You know. God bless ya! :)

Jenn said...

I think the moral of your story is that you have to eat to lose weight!! Seriously cutting back on calories will throw your body into starvation mode, and throws the breaks on your weight loss.
Keep eating the chili - its working! :-)

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."

Sassle