Look What I've Accomplished!

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Chairs and Toilets who'd a thought!

Look at this chair, just take a look, it seems like your average lawn chair right? Look you even have a place to put your water or pop. It looks like a fantastic and practical chair all around except when you're morbidly obese, it's a very scary thing.

I decided to go to the party with my husband, I found a ride there so I didn't have to drive (I don't like to drive, I really need to create a blog just based on all my fears). So my first challenge was not the chair, no it was a buffet of good food. I took salad but you know the kind of salad they served; potato, macaroni, green been and so much more fatty foods. But I ate them slowly (whilst fighting wasps for my food at the same time) and then came the desert. I have yet to turn down a desert in my life I'm not ready just yet. So I asked hubby to get me some desert knowing full well he'd be moderate about choosing sweets for me whereas I would be a glutton. He brings me this rice krispies square with a high ratio of sugar and a brownie. I don't like rice krispy treats but I being a sugar addict started with that one. It was good, once I finished I went for the brownie but I felt that little sugar rush, you know what I mean, where the sugar starts searing through your blood and you feel like you could hit a physical peak. So I did the one thing I've never done before, I gave my husband my brownie and said no more desert for me, I remembered too well the cheeseburger caramel pie fiasco and I don't ever want to feel like that again.

Now back to the ever practical lawn chair, poor hubby is offering me a seat beside him, but I'm petrified of sitting on it because what if I break it, what if I can't fit inside the chair, what if it rips. So I avoid sitting for hours, my feet were sore and I could barely stand it, then I saw a woman who looked to be my size (maybe bigger, maybe smaller, my perception is really off where size is concerned) and she sat in a chair just like that. I thought hmm, she didn't break it, it handled her weight, so I'll give it a shot, so I proceeded to sit in the chair and did not miraculously break it, BUT! I had to get out of the chair now didn't I. The handles were of soft material so that was not a pretty sight and I truly believe the both times that I sat down on those chairs when I got up I heard a ripping sound but I pretended I didn't hear it.

There were so many uncomfortable moments for me at this party, so many normal reasons to want to be thin. I'll finish with this, I had to go to the bathroom, it was so small (or I was so big) I had to sit on the toilet on an angle and well it wasn't a pretty site. I felt like a giant on a kiddies toilet. I would need one of those Great John Toilets for plus sized people.

All I'm saying is that after yesterday's party I saw so many more reasons to be thin, reasons that are important for normal function in the world like sitting and going to the bathroom. I rode with hubby on his Harley and almost pulled a muscle trying to get on the bike. It's not fun and its quite humbling and humiliating all at the same time.

Oh, before I forget as soon as I arrived at the party, this woman said to me "God you're beautiful", I was so shocked I said "pardon me?" and she said "You are absolutely beautiful". I thanked her and walked away, I wouldn't have minded continuing the conversation on my beauty but didn't find it really appropriate. :-D

I'm off to revise my list on the reasons to be thin and thanks for dropping by.



MizFit said...

Ive read this twice as it's so powerful in the way it motivated you to stick with your healthy choices on that path to wellness and balance and yet DIDNT SEEM TO BRING YOU DOWN to the point of throwing in the towel.

and the fact that you both accepted the compliment and SHARED the compliment.

You are on your way.

even in the seemingly small stuff like asking your hubby to get you the dessert.



Girl on a Mission... said...

thanks for following my blog- you can do this...it is possible!

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

At least I know I am not the only one who fears those chairs. And man they are tough to get up from. I still use them but I always have the what ifs running through my mind.

Welcome to the Healthy You Challenge!

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."