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Friday, September 19, 2008

I'll never do that again!


Last night was date night, hubby and I went out to dinner and I justified to myself that I wasn't starting my diet before Monday September 22nd so I could eat what I wanted. As I was presented with the menu the waitress happened to mention their desert special which was order one pie and get the next one free. Yay for desert!

I ordered this burger which had what looked like breaded onions on top of it, loads of cheese, a delicious sauce and well lets just say it was fully dressed and huge so in order to fit it in my mouth I had to take out the lettuce oh and I was presented with the side choice of fries, salad or soup. I chose fries (no wonder I'm obese). After feeling full a bit more then half way through the burger I then decided to have a caramel apple pie heated up with whipped cream. I ate the whole thing.

We got home and all I wanted to do was go to bed, my tummy didn't feel well at all. I've been paranoid alot lately about developing heart disease i.e. a heart attack so that was running through my mind. I laid down for an hour and still didn't feel well, I drank 3 pop (coke zero) and went to bed 2 hours later. Then the true paranoia hit me, I felt sick, I felt like I was going to die, I felt like the whole world was over, if only I hadn't eaten all that fatty assed food.

Today I still feel weary and worried, which is why I'm a lot more careful today about what I chose to eat. I'm following the 12 step plan from Overeaters Anonymous and I'm on Step 4 and I seem to be taking an extra long time to complete this step. However, I should know better then to fear, I should hand my will over to God. I'm officially doing that right now. No more fear, no more doubt because my ways get me in trouble.

What have I eaten so far today, hmm a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with 2% milk (it hurt my tummy). Then I had a chicken pot pie from Banquet (350 cals 25 gr fat and 2 gr of fiber) and for dinner hubby is making hot dogs and American Potatoes. I will watch my portions, I don't want to feel panicky and sick again. Even better I will ask God to remove the desire to eat huge portions.

Thanks for reading!

Sassle {that's me}

2 comments:

Joy's Journey in Weightloss said...

I TOTALLY am with you about the anxiety about a heart attack! I almost ruined a beach vacation because I was worried that I would have a heart attack and no one would be there to take my daughter if I croaked! I even had an EKG and I am perfectly fine (except that I am overweight). The anxiety stopped when I got off of sugar. I could totally relate to your post!! Great site!

MizFit said...

and Im with you about knowing that many times it about LETTING GO, huh?

no matter your deity!

heres to a good weekend and an amazing start of a new lifestyle monday (or today? maybe??)

Miz.

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."

Sassle