Feeling Good...

I've been reading the SBD book with as much interest as a historical romance novel.  It is very fascinating and what is weird is that I did NOT read it the last time I followed the plan.  What I am enjoying about it this time is that I'm learning how food and the body work together.

I've kept my promise to myself and have yet to weigh myself since day 1 of the plan.  I'm thinking I'll weigh myself either next Tuesday when it makes it a full week or maybe after week 2 is completed.  I just don't want to focus too much on what the scale says.  Yet, I'm hearing a lot of people do better weighing in every day.  I'm really doing this for my mental health.  I beat myself up ALOT and feel that it's in my best interest for the moment.

I've been searching out recipes to make the SBD more tasty and fun.  There are so many great sites out there with some delicious recipes I'm really impressed.  You see that's what makes this fun for me, it's a healthy way of living and tastes good too.

I'm on another deadline so this will be short, I just wanted to keep up with my blogging and let everyone know that day 2 of Phase 1 was wonderful and tasty.  I'm still on track, feeling good and happy to be on this new journey.  It just feels right.

Thanks for stopping by!

Day 1 of the South Beach Diet... A Success!

Did I mention yesterday that I loved that we started this new way of living on 1/11/11... First of all the number one (1) has always been my favorite number, it's my numerology number and all those ones resemble very much my sobriety date which is 11/11/99.  Now enough with the nerd talk, let's get down to business...

I was up till 3:30am working on a deadline, so yesterday hubby was in charge of preparing our food.  He's so excited that we are doing this, I swear he must have told me that 5 times yesterday alone.

I didn't keep a journal but I stayed on plan yesterday and I figured since I have a 3 months subscription with WW I will journal my food there.

You know my neighbor just sent me a message thru facebook about wanting to change how she'll pay me some of the money for utilities that she owes us.  She upset me and my first reaction was to get me some food.  I actually felt the need for the food, it was a physical reaction.  I had to remind myself that I am following the SBD and am not to let her or anyone else make me feel bad to the point that I have to eat.  I can't control her but I can control my attitude.

I have an oral fixation, I must throw something in my mouth.  I'm also confrontational which is not one of my most flattering qualities.  I answered her a big fat no and was a bit direct but felt that her sneak attack was just that sneaky... I know I'm getting off topic, but my feelings affect how I eat.  I am an emotional eater and this is the first obstacle I have to face since I started this diet (yesterday).  Gee suddenly I'm a bit scared.

That's it for today...

Thanks for stopping by!

South Beach Diet! Here I come...

A week or so ago I read a comment my cousin Faye left me on one of my posts and it was exactly what I needed to hear.  I know SB works, I know when I follow the program, I lose weight, I feel good and sleep well.  Why do anything else.  Why? Because I like to complicate my life is why, but her comment stuck in my head, sort of like a little voice that I kept hearing:

::YOU KNOW South Beach works, you have the info, do it. It won't cost you anymore than buying your regular groceries, and maybe it will cost you less because you won't be buying processed food.::

Be good to yourself.

Hmm.. wise words... Yet! I still went back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to go the SBD way or the Weight Watchers way... I finally decided to go with SBD because it stops my sugar cravings, brought me to a weight that I was thrilled with, made me feel good and make my body work the way it was supposed to and so much more.

Yesterday hubby & I went and bought our groceries, I joined two online SBD groups and found some great recipes, I got out my trusty SBD book and started reading it from the beginning and so far so good.

Today was rough, I weighed myself and hit an all time high, haven't weighed this much since '07 so needless to say I was not pleased, but I need to move on and not kick myself in the butt over it.

I've been suffering from chest pain for the last 3 days, I really think it has more to do with the fact that I went bowling with family and friends to celebrate hubby's 50th birthday on Saturday than my heart.  I had a good time but lets face it, at my weight it's hard work to have fun, hard on the body that is.  The pain is on the left side but it seems to hurt more during certain moves.  Plus I don't have any of the other heart attack symptoms attributed for women.

Had breakfast way late today, I have a deadline for work and was not able to prepare as I would like to, but that didn't stop me, we had an omelet (hubby is following the program with me) vegetable juice and a bottle of water.  I'm finding all kinds of Phase 1 recipes online so once this work deadline is complete (I already have another one in the works) I will at least get somewhat organized the SBD way.

I'm trying to keep up with the blogging, it's been my salvation in the past when I followed the SBD, reading comments from readers, your support has meant so much to me.

So that's it for now... I'll be back soon, I swear, either later or tomorrow...

Thanks for visiting!

Catching up with old friends...

I decided to play catch up today and read a few weight loss blogs that I am currently following.  I noticed there were others like me, who haven't posted in either months and a few hadn't posted in 2 years.  It made me feel sad, I wanted to say hey why didn't you tell us you were leaving, but then again I certainly made no announcements when I stopped writing.  So I do understand but I feel a sense of loss, as though I lost a dear friend.  The good news is that there are many bloggers who have continued sharing their journeys with us and I'm grateful for them, they continue to inspire me, show me that if they can do it, I can do it too!

So here's to a great 2011 may we all find success in what we are seeking!

Thanks for stopping by!

Sassle

Decisions, Decisions...

I've gotten myself in quite the mess, or at least that's my interpretation of the situation. Next month I am throwing my husband a party to celebrate his 50th birthday. I am excited for him, he deserves to be honored and cherished by his family and friends. Now being the self-involved ego minded person that I am is dreading the part where his family comes and visits and sees fat me. Now even if I were to diet successfully for the next 30 days and drop 20 or 25 pounds for that matter (I'm that big) I still would not be his skinny wife (I'll take healthy wife for $500 Alex).

Now I know better, I really do, I'm a firm believer in the Law of the Universe. If I think that I will fail, well darn it I will and if I feel that I will succeed I will. So it's time to change my frame of mind again.

Since stopping the ever successful South Beach Diet which was probably the most successful plan of my life except for the Weight Watchers point system, I have put on all my weight back *hangs head down in shame* but I need to refocus on what's important.

Right now I'm working on my ebay store (I will not share the link here) I am writing an ebook (I might share the link here) and planning a 50th birthday party, creating a video for my husbands party a sort of this is your life theme (I run a business creating photo montages) and fighting temptation to eat easy fatty foods.

I finally have my husband off my back when I choose to buy cake and you know what he doesn't say anything other than snide "jokes" as he calls them. Or he gives me a look, you know the one, he has a smile on his face but a sad smile like you could be so much if only you'd beat this stupid monkey off your back kind of smile. This of course is my projection of his smile, it might just be nothing.

I'm thinking of starting the new Weight Watchers Points Plus program, 3 months will cost me $65 and I'm really tempted to give it a go, but will I do it? Do I want to invest in $165 right now ($100 for food) when I need better winter boots (saw some at $25) and more thermal underwear ($10) hmm... for $200 I could have it all!! haha

Winter expenses on the farm are more expensive, we now have higher bills because someone moved out, oil needs to be bought soon, electric is high and I want to join Weight Watchers. Ok I'll stop whining.

Thanks for listening!

Please come back for more...

Sassle!

Where I am headed...

“You must not under any pretense allow your mind to dwell on any thought that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.” ~Emmet Fox

Well it's been a really fun ride for the last 4 months since my last post. I'm quite surprised I have any followers left and for those of you who still come to visit to make sure I'm alright, thank you very much.



So far I've managed to keep 15 pounds off from last year. Yes I ate my feelings and a few other people's feelings as well. I'm back and I'm ok. I'm growing in new ways as well, I have found a spirituality that I lacked for so long. I've always had faith in a power greater then myself but not like I have now. But that's for another day, another time because I will share with you the journey.



Hubby and I have decided to go back to the South Beach Diet. It's just the way it should be, at least for us it is. I admit to do comparison reports between the SBD, Flat Belly Diet and Weight Watcher's core. I think SBD is it for me. I just don't like Phase 1 which is the first two weeks, and that is total BS because when I was on it, I didn't want to stop Phase 1, I loved it, felt safe following it, lost weight and felt great. So what's the big deal. Bad habits die hard, but alas I will not let me ego get in the way of what works for me which is the South Beach Diet.

I'll be posting again, I need to find the list of foods that we need and go to the grocers sometime today to pick up the food. Hubby is all gung ho too so it should do both our body and souls good.

Thanks for stopping by!
Sassle!

Has it been that long already...

I'm stressed, our living conditions are stressful which is causing me stress. Now I am responsible for my own feelings, how I react to things, my attitude and I know I'm to be grateful but gosh darn it I'm feeling very stressed over everything.

Now for the good stuff, I just got my 10 year AA chip last month (yayness!) yes I celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety and I am very proud of myself which is why I don't get why on earth I am acting like a newcomer and a spoiled brat. Oh I know why it because I'm scared; good ole fear does me in every single time.

Now let me back up a bit...

Current weight with clothes on (sweatshirt, sweat pants, socks et al) 270lbs (good God I know, I know).

I am selling my 2 horses because of our current living arrangement (long story).

I'm in a major distrust mode because of our current living arrangement, you see I live on a beautiful farm, I rent and my landlord well lets just say he's not someone we trust, we have no lease and well he's not an honest man by any means. Things are coming to a head because of the new tenant that lives downstairs who goes way back with the landlord and wants our place... time will tell... Now please note I am an alcoholic so all this thought activity is going on in my head which means, a lot of this is projection on my part (I have a magnifying mind) however, my little voice (intuition) tells me it is so.

I'm addicted to sugar, yes I know we've already covered this but I am seriously addicted to the stuff as I am addicted to alcohol, I have to leave the sugar and certain carbs behind. I'm considering doing some online OA meetings (Overeater's Anonymous) because meetings and the 12 steps of AA help me with my drinking so I'm thinking meetings and the 12 steps of OA will help me with my binging.

I do apologize for being all over the place with this post, it's not intentional it's the way my brain has been working as of late.

Thanks for coming by!

God Bless

Sassle!