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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Coming Out of Secret Safe Place

No, I'm not coming out of the sexual orientation closet but I am coming out of hiding. I've been hiding to long and I'm not even talking about this blog, I'm talking about life, my weight, my obesity. Yesterday I did something that I would never have imagined I'd do before, I actually told my cousin how much I weighed. Albeit this was done by email and yes of course I fear judgment but wtf it is what it is and I can't hide.

You see I think if I keep hiding from people or from telling people about the real me I will not lose weight because I'm in hiding. Maybe my subconscious will stop it from happening or my evil ego will I don't know but I believe the old adage, you are only as sick as your secrets. So if I slowly let people into my world, that dark fat world maybe I'll be able to change.

4 comments:

new*me said...

good for you! When I finally told hubby my weight, it really took off from there. I felt like a burden had been lifted.

Anonymous said...

I would never judge you sweetheart, I'm here for you for as long as you let me. We ALL have struggles. I've never met anyone yet that wants to struggle.

Alive and healthy is what you need to strive for. Once you get there you can pick your next battle if you choose.

xoxoxox

Lady Downsize! said...

Something occured to me a while ago, I'm not alone in my shoes. It seemed like I had this strange notion that if I didn't share my weight, or awknowledge the reality of my reflection in the mirror, then it wasn't real to anyone. At some point I read somewhere about accountability and how ineffective it is if I'm not real with myself and those who support me about where I am in weight, thought and effort.

It sounds like you might be on your way to a fresh start. Congrats on you admitting your weight. Sometimes that's a big step to change.

Anonymous said...

great for you. and brave.

and the first step for anything.

stepping up and OUT and shouting it and embracing it and *then* you can move forward.

Miz.

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."

Sassle